This article was actually inspired by a comment from an unknown girl who lives by the name Shannah, saying that I’m a certified flirt. Haha. That’s funny. I don’t even know her, or I do? Heck if I’m sure of it. I don’t care.

I admit that most people who know me dearly can readily translate my name into that F word. They define me as a classic example of a modern flirt. Alright, that’s fine. Maybe a person who flirts like there’s no tomorrow can be labeled as a horned flirt in some context but what I wanna say, really, is that flirts are just alerts! They know when to act the way they do & they can easily detect one who is, too. Like me.

I know I’m not perfect and no one will ever see me as one. Point of the matter is, being a flirt has its ups and downs. One would never get to be taken seriously when your reputation precedes your true motive. But flirts, most of the time, get the juice. And that, is one of the major truths, we can’t deny.

I am a flirt, that’s a satisfying fact. But that’s not the complete truth. As I have read in some great book by Greg Iles, facts need not necessarily be the whole truth. The fluid truth is: I can be a flirt at some level & I can be true to my feelings when I have to.

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Our very first meeting was unusual. In fact, one can bet if we can call it a meeting, rather, just a simple crossing of paths. We were on the same bar. I’m with my cousins and you’re with your friends. Through a complete stranger, you handed me a note neatly written on a piece of paper. When I read it, it contained your name and your contact number. To be honest, I got turned off by your aggressiveness. My initial reaction was I just gave you a cold shrug and subconsciously slid the note on my wallet.

Days passed. I totally forgot about you, as well as the note. But then, I don’t know if fate brought it, one of my cousins texted me out of nowhere. He asked if I contacted you already. Of course I said no because I never did and until that time, I still didn’t have the plan to do it. And then my cousin told me that I should give it a try and that I should ask you out since we’re scheduled to go to the same bar again that night. After almost an hour of him convincing, and me thinking, I decided to get the note and dialled your number on my mobile. As soon as you answered your phone, I didn’t know what to say. I just introduced myself to you and asked you if you could meet us again. I mentioned the place and the time. You said yes, then there was a long pause. Maybe you were expecting me to say something else, but I didn’t. Instead, I said bye and I hit the end call button.

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You’re the one song I don’t want to sing.

I don’t have the voice.

I provided the melody. I provided the lyrics.

You provided the soul.

You sang my song so beautifully, as if it was your own.

Then I stopped and said to myself.

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There are a lot of things about missing someone so bad.

You feel lonely but definitely not quiet inside.

You tend to do things you never do.

It is two in the morning and you wanna go to the nearest convenience store. There are so many of them, being that you’re in the city with all the busy people walking and minding their own freaking business and you don’t exactly know what to buy in the first place. You go to the store, the smell is so unlike what you wanna smell but you still go in anyway. You stare at the empty-emotioned magazine covers and listen to the cold sound of freezers then you go out of the store because you discovered you don’t wanna buy anything at all. All you know is that you were were expecting that that person must be somewhere else doing that same nonsense.

You choose that long street on your way home. There is music through the car stereo but you can’t make out what song it plays because someone else is in your head. You get to your destination without you ever noticing although it is true that you must have created a constellation of raindrops on the outside of the car windows. You put yourself in your bed and can’t remember that the long street experience was actually a bad one. All you know is that you were thinking of that person 95% of the time.

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