Every time I listen to “The Girl” by City and Colour, I think about the girl that will come into my life one day. The girl that deserves the world not because she demands it, but because she has earned it. A girl that makes sacrifices rather than excuses. A girl that can makes my heart beats fast.

“While I’m off chasing my own dreams, sailing around the world
Please know that I’m yours to keep, my beautiful girl”

A girl that is worth coming home to. A girl that will surely support me and my weirdness. A girl that will accept me. A girl that’s worth writing about.

“But you don’t ask for no diamond rings, no delicate string of pearls
That’s why I wrote this song to sing, my beautiful girl”

She thinks not of lavishness, for it is not what brings true love. I am ready, willing and able to give it all to her. A love worth more than diamonds do, love heavier than gold. A love that is only meant for me and her.

I would listen to this song while driving, knowing that the girl may be standing or right before the next car at the next stop. I would listen to it as I walk the streets at night, looking at stars, walking with a purpose. One day I will walk with a purpose.. to come to her and never let go.

The girl, she had many faces, but they never became THE girl in my heart. Oh how I want to sing that song to her right now. If only she could feel my heart.

I’m still waiting for you, my beautiful girl. =)

Whew! I honestly don’t know how it all started. It just happened and now, I just found myself longing for you more and more each day. It may started as a joke but we were able to make it. I can still remember your silly words that we are a perfect match. Me, being a sadist and you, being a masochist. Yes, we surprisingly matched. It’s as if certain things and events were really meant to happen to give us a fair chance. You make me happy.

The first time we tried it, I messed up. I was so confused then that resulted to some mistakes. Then you suddenly stopped talking to me. You kept your distance and pretended that I was a total stranger. In that span of time, I realized your worth. I felt there was something missing that only you can fill in. The thought that you might not talk to me ever again almost drove me insane. I did my best to make you understand the situation. I’m so thankful you did and accepted me again. You make me happier.

Whatever we have right now is still between the two of us. We don’t need to rush things up. Taking one step at a time is a way lot better. I love reading your short yet sweet messages over and over again. The fact that you still bother to call me even if I am at work gives me a wonderful feeling. Staying up late at night to wait for each other eventhough we both know there is a little chance for us to talk because of our own work schedules is priceless. But above all that, I am still looking forward to the day that we can both shout out loud to the world what we truly feel. I know it will be soon. And if that time finally comes, you will certainly make me the happiest. =)

I once jokingly told her that I’ll make her the subject of my entry. Knowing our current status, unsurprisingly, she didn’t believe me. But hey, here it is..

Me: Hey, I am thinking about you.
Her: Because? You like me?
Her: I have to admit every so often I think about you too.

Me: I miss you.
Her: Oh yeah? What about?
Me: Nothing. Just YOU.
Her: Asus if I haven’t known better, kikiligin na sana ako.

There! She is and will always be my one and only beach girl. =)

Sigh. It had been days but I am still here. I still have my silent cries that some people accidentally hears. I know they feel my sorrow, sometimes I make them feel it. I tried to look for you, but somehow you have escaped me.

I went all over the place to look for you. I started roaming but you were not there. Some people occassionally see me, but I never wanted to show them my face. I sometimes show them my eyes, but they tend to look away. Does my eyes carry that much sorrow that they always look away?

I remember a certain pain. I remember sleeping and waking up.

I don’t know why I’m still here, waiting for you. Maybe I’m only living in your mind. Maybe I was kept alive by your guilt. Maybe it’s because you’re still thinking of me same way as I am thinking of you. A lot of maybes.

I want to move on.

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At dahil seryoso yan, mawawala muna ko ng ilang araw. Yun lang yun eh.