I once jokingly told her that I’ll make her the subject of my entry. Knowing our current status, unsurprisingly, she didn’t believe me. But hey, here it is..

Me: Hey, I am thinking about you.
Her: Because? You like me?
Her: I have to admit every so often I think about you too.

Me: I miss you.
Her: Oh yeah? What about?
Me: Nothing. Just YOU.
Her: Asus if I haven’t known better, kikiligin na sana ako.

There! She is and will always be my one and only beach girl. =)

Sigh. It had been days but I am still here. I still have my silent cries that some people accidentally hears. I know they feel my sorrow, sometimes I make them feel it. I tried to look for you, but somehow you have escaped me.

I went all over the place to look for you. I started roaming but you were not there. Some people occassionally see me, but I never wanted to show them my face. I sometimes show them my eyes, but they tend to look away. Does my eyes carry that much sorrow that they always look away?

I remember a certain pain. I remember sleeping and waking up.

I don’t know why I’m still here, waiting for you. Maybe I’m only living in your mind. Maybe I was kept alive by your guilt. Maybe it’s because you’re still thinking of me same way as I am thinking of you. A lot of maybes.

I want to move on.

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At dahil seryoso yan, mawawala muna ko ng ilang araw. Yun lang yun eh.

This article was actually inspired by a comment from an unknown girl who lives by the name Shannah, saying that I’m a certified flirt. Haha. That’s funny. I don’t even know her, or I do? Heck if I’m sure of it. I don’t care.

I admit that most people who know me dearly can readily translate my name into that F word. They define me as a classic example of a modern flirt. Alright, that’s fine. Maybe a person who flirts like there’s no tomorrow can be labeled as a horned flirt in some context but what I wanna say, really, is that flirts are just alerts! They know when to act the way they do & they can easily detect one who is, too. Like me.

I know I’m not perfect and no one will ever see me as one. Point of the matter is, being a flirt has its ups and downs. One would never get to be taken seriously when your reputation precedes your true motive. But flirts, most of the time, get the juice. And that, is one of the major truths, we can’t deny.

I am a flirt, that’s a satisfying fact. But that’s not the complete truth. As I have read in some great book by Greg Iles, facts need not necessarily be the whole truth. The fluid truth is: I can be a flirt at some level & I can be true to my feelings when I have to.

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Our very first meeting was unusual. In fact, one can bet if we can call it a meeting, rather, just a simple crossing of paths. We were on the same bar. I’m with my cousins and you’re with your friends. Through a complete stranger, you handed me a note neatly written on a piece of paper. When I read it, it contained your name and your contact number. To be honest, I got turned off by your aggressiveness. My initial reaction was I just gave you a cold shrug and subconsciously slid the note on my wallet.

Days passed. I totally forgot about you, as well as the note. But then, I don’t know if fate brought it, one of my cousins texted me out of nowhere. He asked if I contacted you already. Of course I said no because I never did and until that time, I still didn’t have the plan to do it. And then my cousin told me that I should give it a try and that I should ask you out since we’re scheduled to go to the same bar again that night. After almost an hour of him convincing, and me thinking, I decided to get the note and dialled your number on my mobile. As soon as you answered your phone, I didn’t know what to say. I just introduced myself to you and asked you if you could meet us again. I mentioned the place and the time. You said yes, then there was a long pause. Maybe you were expecting me to say something else, but I didn’t. Instead, I said bye and I hit the end call button.

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