So stupid of me to hurt her, to make her feel that way. I swear I didn’t mean to. But it’s too late now, she doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. I just lose someone so special. Someone so dear to me until now. F*ck that!

How did it happen? I don’t know either. All I’m aware of is that she’s keeping this invisible wall between us. It’s like she doesn’t want me to invest my emotions on her, and vice versa. She keeps on saying that it’s “impossible”, that we can’t do it. And I keep on asking “why?”. Neither me, nor her, can answer our own questions. She never let me know what she feels and that made me left hanging in a middle of nowhere. If only she gave me a chance to prove that it’s not impossible, that we can do it. Maybe, just maybe, things will go the way be both wanted it to be.

It’s a whole different story now. I can’t change the fact that she’s already decided to stay away from me. I will respect it and give her what she wants. But deep inside me, I’m still holding on to what I’ve told her. “It’s not actually no, it’s just not now”.

Hmm I don’t know. It’s different now. I feel different now. I was a bit disappointed when she rejected my offer. It’s as if we don’t know each other that much for her to feel shy. But still, I’m trying to understand her side. And I bet she’s aware that my door is always open to her when she needs a helping hand. Whenever, whatever, wherever, and however. =)

He’s cute. He’s adorable. One of my stress killers. I love him to bits. =)

Yesterday was my cousin’s birthday. Right after work, I drove my way to Mandaue, their place. Somehow, I didn’t want to go, but then, I realized that I needed a break. A time to relax and unwind.

The toma session was a blast. We had barbecues, sisig, relyeno, and other “pulutan” that definitely made my night. At first, we had Fundador and as the night went by, my all time favorite, Red Horse, served as our “pambanlaw”. We also tried this Lambanog, bubble gum flavor. I didn’t like its taste. I think it is more suited to girls so I stick with Fundador and Red Horse. In there, I met Nami, Leny, Che, Alex, Joe, Benedict, and the rest of their friends. They are all fun to be with. Each of them has their own stories. From love life, to school life, to work life, to sex life. They want me to share my own stories too, but they failed to convince me. I’m a man with few words, what can I do? =p Nami and Joe tried their very best to teach me their mother tongue. I’ve learned some lines which I hardly remember now, haha. All in all, it was really an awesome night, that I wasn’t able to go home.

The next morning, I woke up at around 6am. Nami taught me how to make pancakes from eggs, starch, butter, flour, sugar, and condensed milk. It’s all a matter of mixing them all. It’s something new to me because I’m used to seeing ready to made mixture in boxes for pancakes, haha. Then here comes the cooking part. After three consecutive tries, I was able to perfect it… at least in my own opinion, haha. I’m so glad that I’ve learned something new again. Thanks to Nami. She’s a very nice girl. Unfortunately, I had to leave after breakfast as I still have work ahead of me.

I haven’t done packing my things for my trip to Leyte, yet. And due to some circumstances, there’s a slight change of plan. I’ll leave on Saturday and I’ll stay there for two weeks. I already filed my leave of absence at work. Having said that, I’ll be gone for a while. Promise, I’ll take some pictures of our place there and I’ll post them here, a little tour perhaps, hehe.

Awhile ago, I’ve talked to Melissa. She keeps on teasing me regarding my English. She was even surprised that I have this blog, maybe she knows that I’m a very private person. For her, having a blog will just cause too much trouble, haha. She’s really amazing. She can make me smile.

Little by little, I’m getting used that she’s not around. That she’s not greeting me good mornings and goodnights anymore. That when my phone rings, it would not be her name that will appear. At least, I’m making progress, I’m learning to accept things now. But I must admit, I still miss her. Our endless laughtrips, almost 25/8 on the phone, non stop stories, and all.

Told yah, this is an extremely random post, haha. Till next time. =)